Our Homeschooling Journey, Continued

My 11yo has decided to return to school this year after five years of homeschooling. It's been a journey of discovery for all of us, and these are some thoughts on why we started, why he decided to give school a try, and what our learning path looks like moving forward.

Why we started homeschooling

My kids never went to daycare or preschool in any consistent way (my oldest did go to a preschool for three months, two days a week). My husband Syavash and I both worked from home since they were babies, and we felt more comfortable taking care of them ourselves while they were little. We managed a staggered schedule so one of us was always with the kids. What do you do with your kids when you're with them for so much of each day? We helped them learn anything that was interesting to them, and along the way I discovered my passion for supporting the learning process. But we never thought of what we were doing as homeschooling. Homeschooling just wasn't on our radar. We both grew up in Iran, where homeschooling was not a thing.

Then my oldest started kindergarten. A week didn't go by without him telling us that we were wasting his time by sending him to school. Meanwhile, his teacher kept asking to meet with us, mostly about him not following instructions, and occasionally about his reading, writing, and math being well beyond grade level. None of this surprised me. He loved those things, and he always wanted to do his own thing. The school environment was too limiting for him. And later on when we decided to pull him out at the end of the year, I met with a school team and learned that they'd found his attention span much longer than what they expect for a 5yo. So given that they structure their activities in small episodes, my 5yo was a little inconvenient to them because he often wanted to keep going with the activity.

At home he could chase whatever he was into for as long as he wanted (only interrupted by natural needs!); he had real freedom to go deep. But the school structure wanted everyone doing the same thing at the same time. All that complaining we got from him and his teacher, together with him learning absolutely nothing that year, is how we decided that we should take his education in our own hands.

Giving middle school a try

This summer he told us he wants to try school. When I asked why, he gave me three reasons: he's curious about what it's like to be in a regular classroom, he wants more social time, and it's not normal to be homeschooled.

The first two I found completely legitimate. He is a very social creature. He's been part of a program where he met other homeschoolers twice a week for four hours, plus a few group classes every week, and we tried some local homeschool meetups too, but none of it gave him what he was looking for. It simply wasn't enough for him.

The third reason surprised me a bit. Wanting to be just like everybody else might be something that comes (and goes) with age. But I also see myself as responsible, because in five years I never really shared with him what a luxury it is to be homeschooled: to wake up without a bell, to have time for your interests and projects, to learn at your own pace with someone who knows you, and to have parents who chose to work from home because you're their priority. I've been thankful for all this blessing and took it for granted he feels the same.

Moving forward

It was hard to hear that my child is graduating from homeschooling, especially knowing a classroom can't give him the same room to go deep. But for now his priority is building or being part of a community, and that matters. We respected his curiosity and agreed to keep his learning going at home before and after school, so he continues to progress academically. We'll see how it goes! We might end up falling in love with his teacher and his school, or we might start our own school so he can have the best of both worlds. And I've still got my 7yo to homeschool, and I'll enjoy it to the fullest.